


Stasis

by Sme11yJe11y



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Abrupt Ending, Gen, Time Loop, badly done angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:23:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7351483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sme11yJe11y/pseuds/Sme11yJe11y
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the battle with Nyx, Minako is pretty bitter about her circumstances. A chat with Theodore convinces her that she should get over it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stasis

When Minako Arisato first stepped off the train that brought her to Tatsumi Port Island, she didn’t quite feel at home. The air felt and tasted just short of clean and there were too many upright coffins for comfort. Distracted as she was by the oddly placed coffins, she still managed to notice that the once dark night sky was now more of a weird green color with the moon looking creepier than she could ever recall. Seeing these strange images triggered some sort of alarm in her head, one that told her it would be best to get inside lest she stick around to see something truly disturbing.

She remembers hurrying towards her dorm, the new place that she would be living in for the foreseeable future, and once she would arrive, that is when the cycle would always begin anew. When Minako Arisato first stepped off the train that brought her to Tatsumi Port Island, she didn’t quite feel at home. After stepping off the train into Tatsumi Port Island in the exact same place on the exact same day several more times after that, she forgot what home felt like to begin with.

When the feeling of familiarity became so strong that it started feeling alien, Minako knew that she had lost something important. After a while, she couldn’t remember what it felt like to be surprised, to have her eyes widen comically to the amusement of those around her. People weren’t really amused by her much these days anyway. Even rarer were the moments when Minako actually felt amused herself.

One emotion that she was able to always hold onto was sadness. When she felt depressed she also felt a strange, sick sort of satisfaction that she was still able to feel something even if it wasn’t the nicest feeling. Minako tried not to dwell on feelings too much since she still had a mission. It was difficult though. The downside of being omniscient to the events that would always unfold gave way to an oppressing air of boredom that refused to go away.

She quickly learned that many things would never change, no matter what she did differently to try to change everyone’s circumstances. Junpei and Yukari would still go at it like cats and dogs, Akihiko was still fawned over by the entire female student body, Mitsuru was still no-nonsense as ever, and Ken was still just a kid who was forced to grow up too fast. Ikutsuki would always betray them, Mitsuru would always lose her father, and Shinji would always succumb to a tragic fate.

If Minako didn’t visit the police station in time to recover his pocket watch, Shinji would die from a bullet to the chest. If she retrieved his pocket watch and made sure to give it back to him before that fateful night on October 4th, all she would save him from was a quick death. She only saved him the first time around; letting him die was much better than giving everyone false hopes that he would awaken from his coma when he never did and never would.

Not everything stayed the same each cycle; Minako herself was what had changed. It became infinitely more difficult to form lasting bonds with the people she once called her friends. It steadily became more difficult to trudge her way through school days, carrying on like she didn’t have the weight of the entire world bearing down on her shoulders. Here she was trying to save the world, but in the end she never had anything to show for it. She and the fate of the world would forever be at a stalemate.

Minako was shaken out of her reverie when she heard Aigis begin to speak.

“You look tired. Here, rest a while.”

And so, like she had done too many times before that, Minako laid her head on Aigis’s lap and tried to keep her eyes open for as long as she possibly could. It never mattered in the end. Even though she could hear her friends making their way to the school’s rooftop for a couple seconds, eventually all noise became a distant buzz and her eyes would flutter shut.

 

* * *

 

 

Minako was on the train again. Soon enough she was back in Tatsumi Port Island, but this time around she decided she needn’t be in such a hurry; time was all she had these days. When she arrived at the dorm, Pharos was there to intercept her and once again offer information about her contract that could only be described as cryptic and ominous.

After that business was done, Yukari and Mitsuru would be there introducing themselves all over again like they weren’t all very close at one point in time. You would think the pain of being forgotten an infinite number of times would dull after a while, but Minako was hard put trying to ignore the feeling of resentment that bloomed in her chest every time it happened.

“Why do you have a gun?”

Minako knew exactly why Yukari had a gun, or rather an evoker, but it never hurt to play along for little while. Besides, her answer was still amusing no matter how many times she heard it.

“Huh? Um, well, it's sorta like a hobby...well, not a hobby, but...”

Could defeating shadows really be considered a hobby? Sure, if you needed to let off some steam, but hobbies aren’t something that people do because they need to but because they want to. Minako didn’t want to fight shadows, but what Minako also knew was that what she wanted didn’t really matter at this point.

 

* * *

 

 

Before Minako visited the back alley that would lead her to the Velvet Room, she felt a rush of excitement. She thought of Igor and his absurdly long nose and perpetually steepled fingers. She thought of Theodore and how naïve and ignorant he somehow managed to be no matter how many times she would give him tours of her world. Those two were special; they always remembered her.

She walked through the blue door and was immediately enveloped by the familiar hum of a piano accompanied by the pleasant tones of opera. One mystery that has continued to evade her all these cycles is who was playing the piano and or singing every time she visited. It’s surprisingly nice to not know _everything_.

Igor was already prepared for his habitual greeting.

“Welcome to the Velvet Room.”

Minako gave him a smile and shifted her gaze to Theodore who was already displaying a pleased look on his face at the prospect of taking a tour to Paulownia mall or wherever it was that he wanted to visit this time.

 

* * *

 

 

It turned out that Theodore was in the mood to see a movie that day. Minako let him pick since it was his idea to begin with, but when she handed two tickets worth of money to the man in the ticket booth to go see “Red Rain III: Blood Drive” she was suddenly doubtful of what would be in store for her. She liked to watch horror movies every now and then but considering Theodore’s understanding of the world, he might just end up confused and or irrationally terrified that some serial killer was going to come after him.

Fifteen minutes into the movie and there was already a body count of 6 and copious amounts of blood squirting in all directions. While the rest of the audience was doing their best to keep absolutely still so as to not miss any detail, Minako glanced at Theodore to see that he looked extremely confused with what he was seeing. She had enough time to chuckle silently at his expense before he launched a barrage of questions her way.

“Why does that man in the yellow raincoat kill people?”

Minako shrugged.

“You don’t know why?”

“Nope.”

“Is there not always a logical explanation for why people to do things?”

“There isn’t.”

“But….why?”

“Not everyone thinks things through all the time. Like, say there was a kid whose younger sibling took their toy, alright? The older kid gets mad and then hits their little brother or sister. The kid didn’t just hit their sibling to hit them, but because they were angry that their toy was taken away. Basically, feelings are what guide our actions most of the time. Not the most logical thing, but what can you do?”

An awed expression filled Theodore’s face at this new piece of information.

“I think I unders---“

He didn’t get to finish his thought as they were rudely but understandably thrown out of the theater by a large, hulking security guard. As she stood up sweeping excess dirt and debris from her school uniform, Minako turned to face Theodore. He was also covered in dirt from the tumble they took after literally being thrown out of the theater and she took great joy in seeing him look so disheveled for once.

Minako had always figured Theodore for a very tidy, clean person but he looked completely unperturbed as he stood facing her with his clothes rumpled and his hair askew. He still had that look of awe on his face even when he opened his mouth to undoubtedly ask another question.

“Why did we get thrown out of the theater? We didn’t get to finish the movie…you even payed, but we didn’t get the full experience.”

“It’s fine. We weren’t supposed to be talking, that’s why they kicked us out.”

Theodore only nodded in response, though he puffed out his chest and stood a little taller. Minako had long ago learned that this stance meant that Theodore was proud of himself for learning something new. They began walking back to the mall so Minako could drop Theodore off at the Velvet Room, but right before his hand touched the knob on the blue door, he turned around to face her.

“I think I understand now why you keep letting Ryoji live. It’s because he is your friend and no matter what happens to you, you want more than anything for your friends to live on…even if they never age, nor get to live the rest of their lives.”

The words he spoke made it seem as if he were making a statement, but the inflection in his voice betrayed that he was still a bit unsure of himself. Minako was silent for a very long time. She vaguely wondered if he would leave her be if she stayed silent for a while longer, but she quickly dismissed the thought. Theodore was a very patient man; all he had was time.

She gave him a sad smile.

“It’s pretty selfish of me, huh?”

He just stared at her, waiting for whatever insight into her thoughts and actions she chose to give him.

“I don’t keep sacrificing myself to save the world. I’m doing it for my friends…for me.”

Minako stared at the ground in embarrassment. She knew that she must sound awfully childish sharing her reasons for her endless cycle of sacrifices. Theodore patted her head and Minako peered up at him from under her bangs.

“I understand. You choose to die countless times because you have strong feelings towards your friends.”

Minako stood on the tip of her toes so that she could give Theodore a pat on the head. She was proud of him. Theodore was very interested in learning all that he could of the world, and whenever he came full circle like this, she could see just how happy he was. He would get flustered and bashful but she could tell, to him, it was the best feeling in the world. Minako thought it was a pretty nice feeling too; she would explain things to him not because it made her feel good but because it made him feel good. It felt nice to do something for someone else.

 

* * *

 

 

While she was walking back to the dorms, Minako felt a newfound sense of determination. She decided that she had made up her mind; she wasn’t going to shut out her friends anymore. She was going to help give them the best life that she could. After all, they were her reason for living; it was the least that she could do.


End file.
